Genruk

Today was supposed to be the day that my life was to meet up with a weekly writing schedule such that I can finally get on with a new career.  Instead I have a fuck off migraine that’s threatening to hijack the whole god damn day.  Maybe it’s a sign that I should just give up and be an over-educated, unemployed loser.  Or maybe it’s just another of life’s little piss off hoops that we all have to jump through to scratch out an existence because heaven knows that a simple and easy existence just ain’t part of the game plan of first-world humanity.  To hell with complacency, I’m lighting that bitch on fire before jumping through it…

I don’t know about the rest of ya’ll, but this unemployment business is jamming up my lounging schedule.  We have a performance at a local high school at noon today, then our final performance at the Spanos Theatre tonight at Cal Poly.  I think I need one of those government jobs so that I can smuck off more with all ya’ll.  Super-slacker over and out…  

I chase every dream I have.  So far I am batting about a ten, ten out of a thousand that is, which is pretty damn good if ya ask me.  My friends have given up on me, which is good cuz they have given up on their dreams and are just herded around, totally oblivious and sucked into the mass message that they are happy.  But then again I may not have money for food next week.  Touché my friends, touché.  

We are drumming for a dance performance Thursday and Friday and I am nervous.  I am a perfectionist that has not perfected his part, especially my solo.  My greatest fear is letting down the dancers and it is starting to get to me.  

And lastly, I am so not living in the present, always fantasizing about stupid shit.  My latest one was that the Devil was sick of his job and wanted me to take over for a while.  This is not a normal daydream  That’s what I get for running away from medication, for running away from the herd, running from dream to dream like a child that ran away, got lost, and realized that his parents were never going to look for him.

But the dreams will always be there, and I’ll just keep running and running…