April 2011
WatchThis was just downright pleasant…
Is that all you got?
All right life, you’re obviously the kind that kicks a dog when he’s down, the original consort of schadenfreude, and right now your combat boot is pulling away from my gut to give it one last kick. Is that all you got? Then bring it on, but know this. You’re gunna walk away with a severe limp and a sense of fuckin’ failure like you’ve never felt before. Happy...
WatchMini Jam recap…
Let me be me...
All I want to do is write. I don’t care if I have to be dirtbag broke to be a writer. I don’t care if I waste 4 years of veterinary school and sixty thousand dollars worth of student loans to be a writer. And I don’t care if I have not the talent of a bullfrog in my capacity to craft the written word. I just want to write. Is that so hard to understand?
Family and friends:...
Vacation tips on the cheap...
The nice thing about being homeless is that any old piece of cardboard can second as a second home. Before I could get back into traveling I had to find a money belt made specifically for pennies. To save money when traveling, I use the the cheapest travel agent possible. My current one always find the best deals, but I can never quite get used to those mandatory hostage weekends. My last...
Truthful Tuesday
Confidence is the one deserting whore I will let back into my life again and again…
Introducing me...
Tumblr is the real me. A dark presence that is sometimes self-conscious, often over-confident, hopefully funny, usually alone and without assistance fear of being disappointed yet again, and sorta into fixed-gear bicycles. Hello Monday.
WatchOuch!
Dating and Easter explained for children...
OK kiddies, listen up. Girls hate it when they dates assholes, but for some strange reason they go back to them again and again, at least until they find some other prick that will treat them even worse. Now girls do sometimes like to date nice guys, but will cheat on them like a howling cat in heat until they find some elite dickhead that reminds them just how much they hate to date douchebags...
Hey Haters...
While hatred may be more profitable than love, love will always be more satisfying than anything hatred’s profits may purchase.
Dating and other mysterious stuff...
I wish I had read a little more about truck stop sex before just jumping in like that. Makes me think that I should just start dating again. But dating is so complicated, like when alcoholics date each other. They actually have to study their bruises the next morning to figure out if they had really wild sex or just got into another fight. Scientific fact: staring at the phone waiting for last...
Laughter is contagious...
My new insurance company seemed a tad shady at first, but since they made me their pharmacist things have never been better. Still, sunbathing as a radiation treatment for skin cancer seems a bit suspicious. They do like to do blood tests though, and some of their testing procedures are among the most advanced in the world. Specifically, in one test for communicable diseases, the germs actually...
Kidnapping basics...
Sometimes things aren’t what they seem. For example, if a hillbilly kidnaps one of his own kin it is actually just the first step towards an arranged marriage. Most people are more egocentric that ya think. Even a kidnapper would be satisfied if their ransom video went viral. Always be prepared in life. Duct tape, ski mask, blindfold, handcuffs, and a stolen van- stuff to have ready...
Bloody Hell Tax Day Was...
Tax day sucked. Not cuz I pay taxes, because I don’t work. But now that it has passed I feel like this huge curse has been lifted. Gone is the oppressive, collective BS that just enveloped me like a bubble of vicious ick that pleasured itself through its capacity to worm its way into my soul and fester like a cancerous parasite, all for no reason other than its ethereal existence would...
Where to find hot love...
Match dot com sounds like the perfect place to meet that special one, you know, someone that enjoys long walks on the beach, dancing in the rain, or maybe even setting stuff on fire…
I'd rather go to heck...
Personally, I prefer a religion that doesn’t threaten to send me to Hell, like Satanism. They should make religion more fun. But no, the Bible is really just a big bore. It has been said, though, that if you read the Bible backwards it turns into Satanic Verses, only funnier. It’s true that I believe in the Devil because I have personally witnessed an exorcism. My mother-in-law was...
